Daddy Log Monday– March 31
Monday was pretty uneventful. Dr. Blayney was back in and during rounds Angie showed him some new x-rays. He said Jonah’s lungs looked much better. We were also told that the surgeons had been watching the drainage in his bowel tube and that it had stopped implying that the perforation had healed. They took the tube out that morning. The rest of the day he was stable and got a chance to visit with his grandmothers.
That night Jonah was stable again and had a good night with Martha, the very cheerful nurse. They moved him back into his plastic house. They also finished off his antibiotics, some of which he had been on for a while.
Monday, March 31, 2003
Friday, March 28, 2003
Roller Coaster.... Going Down Again
Daddy Log Friday– March 28
I stayed with him again that night but was a little less on edge. I slept a bit more with my only major concern being infection (but he was showing no signs). The next day started off pretty good. During rounds Dr. Blayney was encouraging again and actually seemed more concerned about us than Jonah. The surgeons were happy with the performance of the drain and with the latest x-rays. The super-nurse Jeannie, showed us how his lungs were doing on the x-ray board. Things took a subtle turn around midday. They had tried to reduce the ventilation rate to 40 but his gases dropped so they put it back to 45 bpm. Then the RT noticed that Jonah’s lungs sounded tight so they gave him a puffer. They also replaced his tube which had developed a squeak. This resulted in another plug later on that the nurse said may have been due to irritation during the insertion of the new intubation tube. It wasn’t a big deal– they just suctioned it out when his saturation started dropping, but it was lucky the RT was right there and the nurse wasn’t off doing something else.
Also, his blood pressure had been getting a tad low so they started him on dopamine again (he had been on it at the General also). Another worry was that he hadn’t peed since noon and it was getting late. These things didn’t start to concern us until that night. We decided to stay because although the nurse (Fran) was nice, the resident doctor left us with completely no confidence.
Around midnight we started to get really worried. They kept giving him more fluids to try to get him to pee. The also gave him a blood product (Albumen) to help with his blood pressure because the dopamine did not seem to be working as well as it did before. Fran put in a catheter (yikes) and got some urine out be not much. Jonah’s blood pressure started to stabilize (still a bit low but stable) but the big concern was "where are all the fluids going if they aren’t getting through the kidneys?" It turns out that he was just retaining it causing two things: 1) he looked very bloated and 2) it reopened his heart murmur. On Saturday morning we hardly recognized Jonah because he was so bloated. He did start peeing a lot more which was nice but the neonatologist was worried about his murmur. The echo determined that the duct that had closed prior to the flood of fluids that the resident gave him was now "enormous". The neonatologist took the time to explain what a patent ductus arteriosis (PDA) was and why we should started thinking about surgery. This was hard to hear since every other doctor who had heard the murmur said it would close on its own and that it wasn’t very big. The fact that the resident had caused it to open so large that it needed surgery was lost on her as she tired her best to justify his actions. Janice, the veteran nurse, also recited the party line that Jonah’s condition was a "catch-22" but later came in and told us (her eyes got teary) that if we felt that a resident’s decision was incorrect that we were entitled to ask for a consult from his/her superior. To me this reaffirmed that we were right to question the resident and that even if neonatologist wouldn’t say so, what he did wasn’t the best.
That night Jonah was pretty stable and we decided that we had to get out of the hospital so we went home to sleep. We called Fran a could times for updates. He had a good night and peed almost 50 mL.
I stayed with him again that night but was a little less on edge. I slept a bit more with my only major concern being infection (but he was showing no signs). The next day started off pretty good. During rounds Dr. Blayney was encouraging again and actually seemed more concerned about us than Jonah. The surgeons were happy with the performance of the drain and with the latest x-rays. The super-nurse Jeannie, showed us how his lungs were doing on the x-ray board. Things took a subtle turn around midday. They had tried to reduce the ventilation rate to 40 but his gases dropped so they put it back to 45 bpm. Then the RT noticed that Jonah’s lungs sounded tight so they gave him a puffer. They also replaced his tube which had developed a squeak. This resulted in another plug later on that the nurse said may have been due to irritation during the insertion of the new intubation tube. It wasn’t a big deal– they just suctioned it out when his saturation started dropping, but it was lucky the RT was right there and the nurse wasn’t off doing something else.
Also, his blood pressure had been getting a tad low so they started him on dopamine again (he had been on it at the General also). Another worry was that he hadn’t peed since noon and it was getting late. These things didn’t start to concern us until that night. We decided to stay because although the nurse (Fran) was nice, the resident doctor left us with completely no confidence.
Around midnight we started to get really worried. They kept giving him more fluids to try to get him to pee. The also gave him a blood product (Albumen) to help with his blood pressure because the dopamine did not seem to be working as well as it did before. Fran put in a catheter (yikes) and got some urine out be not much. Jonah’s blood pressure started to stabilize (still a bit low but stable) but the big concern was "where are all the fluids going if they aren’t getting through the kidneys?" It turns out that he was just retaining it causing two things: 1) he looked very bloated and 2) it reopened his heart murmur. On Saturday morning we hardly recognized Jonah because he was so bloated. He did start peeing a lot more which was nice but the neonatologist was worried about his murmur. The echo determined that the duct that had closed prior to the flood of fluids that the resident gave him was now "enormous". The neonatologist took the time to explain what a patent ductus arteriosis (PDA) was and why we should started thinking about surgery. This was hard to hear since every other doctor who had heard the murmur said it would close on its own and that it wasn’t very big. The fact that the resident had caused it to open so large that it needed surgery was lost on her as she tired her best to justify his actions. Janice, the veteran nurse, also recited the party line that Jonah’s condition was a "catch-22" but later came in and told us (her eyes got teary) that if we felt that a resident’s decision was incorrect that we were entitled to ask for a consult from his/her superior. To me this reaffirmed that we were right to question the resident and that even if neonatologist wouldn’t say so, what he did wasn’t the best.
That night Jonah was pretty stable and we decided that we had to get out of the hospital so we went home to sleep. We called Fran a could times for updates. He had a good night and peed almost 50 mL.
Thursday, March 27, 2003
Bowel Perferation... Jonah's First "Surgery"
Daddy Log Thursday– March 27The next morning Dr Blayney (who is also known as Leo Burke) encouraged us that this would only be a minor set back and that the good news was that his murmur had closed (but they often closed and then reopened). When the surgeons looked at the x-rays though, they confirmed that there was free-air outside his bowels, meaning that there was a perforation somewhere. They felt that Jonah was too small for surgery so they cut an incision and installed a tube to drain the air and other nasty things that may have escaped his bowels that could cause infection. They did this and gave him some new antibiotics (infection was a big concern). They also recommended a PICC line for the IV so that they would have to prick him less and that he could get lots of nutrients though a consistent line. Parents stressed. After all this they kept going with x-rays which showed that the drain was working. Though all of this Jonah remained quite stable. They even lowered the rated of ventilation from 50 to 45 bpm because he was doing so well. His murmur was still absent.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
More ups & downs
Daddy Log March 25 & 26"On Tuesday Jonah graduated to the "big boy ventilator". His required pressure on the oscillator was down to 7 and Rebecca thought it was time to try the conventional unit again. It was a big step for Lez and me but Jonah handled the transfer very well. That evening at rounds Rebecca called Jonah the unit’s "golden boy" and Dr. Bad News said it was "quite a change" from Friday/Saturday.
That night though our roller coaster took a violent turn downward.When Minnie was changing his incubator, she noticed a discolouration of his abdomen. She measured it and it was up to 19 cm from 17 cm. They were worried that his bowels were distended and possibly perforated (which would require crash surgery). Fortunately, his saturation, heart-rate, and blood pressure still looked good.
In the morning, the neonatologist suggested that they transfer him to CHEO to have a fancy x-ray done where they put barium dye in his system and follow it though his bowels. We were stressed (Jeanette was too) but Jonah was just chillin’. He handled the transfer much better than Lez and I. The photo-op at the x-ray machine shows a slightly annoyed/stressed Dad."Mummy note:
For the transfer, they put Jonah in a ziploc bag, up to his neck to help preserve his body heat. This was the first time we held Jonah.
Daddy Log Con't "...But they eventually got him (Jonah) to his new house and he settled in quickly. They started doing a series of x-rays that evening/night. The distention and discolouration looked worse but the surgeon had left and wouldn’t be in until morning to look at the results. Again, the parents were pretty stressed. I stayed with Jonah that night (where I started writing in this book) and slept for a few hours in the parent room. He had a very uneventful night. Everything looked perfect. They had already ruled out necrotism and had pretty much ruled out a twisting of the bowels (the worst possibility) so we were hoping for the best– that he was just a tad backed up and that the poops he had the morning of his transfer would have cleared the way." Monday, March 24, 2003
Bump on the road
Daddy Log March 24, 2003
Jonah had another good night but on Monday he had a bit of a "spell". His saturation dropped rapidly because of a plug in his ventilator tube. They suctioned and got his levels back on track but then discovered a heart murmur. They put him on medication to close the opening but said it normally took 2 or 3 doses. The drug was also said to effect his kidneys and bowels. To us it sounded pretty bad but the doctors were pretty confident that it was just a bump on the road. Jonah’s lungs continued to show improvement. Lez started changing Jonah’s diapers.
Jonah had another good night but on Monday he had a bit of a "spell". His saturation dropped rapidly because of a plug in his ventilator tube. They suctioned and got his levels back on track but then discovered a heart murmur. They put him on medication to close the opening but said it normally took 2 or 3 doses. The drug was also said to effect his kidneys and bowels. To us it sounded pretty bad but the doctors were pretty confident that it was just a bump on the road. Jonah’s lungs continued to show improvement. Lez started changing Jonah’s diapers.
Sunday, March 23, 2003
Our home away from home
The Ronald McDonald House in Ottawa is located a short walk from both Ottawa General & CHEO (Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario).Jon spent a lot of hours in the kitchen, not preparing meals, but labelling milk that I had pumped through the night, freezing it, and then washing & sterilizing the pump attachments.
We leave the hospital & move to Ronald McDonald House
Daddy Log March 23, 2003
"Sunday morning things continued to get better. Jeanette met us in the morning with a big grin and said that he had a very good night. He continued to do well on the new ventilator and his x-rays continued to show improvement. They were starting him on the TPN solution with fat and nutrients in it (may have been a different day). He also started feeding. With the good news we were discharged. We went to Ron McDonald House to get settled. We went to the mall to get a breast pump and some other things. It was hard being away for even an hour. We were happy to get back to see Jonah doing well."
"Sunday morning things continued to get better. Jeanette met us in the morning with a big grin and said that he had a very good night. He continued to do well on the new ventilator and his x-rays continued to show improvement. They were starting him on the TPN solution with fat and nutrients in it (may have been a different day). He also started feeding. With the good news we were discharged. We went to Ron McDonald House to get settled. We went to the mall to get a breast pump and some other things. It was hard being away for even an hour. We were happy to get back to see Jonah doing well."
Saturday, March 22, 2003
Jonah near the edge
Daddy Log March 21 - 22, 2003
Friday showed more deterioration in Jonah’s condition. It turns out that by lying him on his left side, it caused his left lung to collapse. This on top of the development of PIE in his right lung along with the general immaturity of his lungs (RDS) was causing him grief. He was on 75-100% O2 and his pH was falling and CO2 levels increasing. Friday night, Dr. Bad News told us that if we saw him in our room it was a bad sign. I saw him in the hall later that night and he said that Jonah’s condition was still falling and that they would do a transfusion and then another blood gas. He said that we might see him in our room after that.
The night passed without seeing him but his condition was still grave. Rebecca came in and said she was very concerned. She had been worried that she may not have been able to make it in time to see him. He was very close to the edge.
Dr. Nimrod come in to check Lez and when he heard that Jonah had a rough night he said that Lez should stay at the hospital (she had been scheduled for discharge) so she could be close to him. He also saw my Bible open on my cot and asked "what is the Word for today". We told him that we had been relating to Job. He told us not to lose faith and to keep praying.
That afternoon, Jonah’s condition improved. He was put on a new ventilator and he immediately responded. Jeannette was his nurse that day and watched his O2 drop to 20-30% and his blood gases do a complete turn around. She was pleased. X-rays showed some improvement. We slept well that night with a new sense of hope.
Friday showed more deterioration in Jonah’s condition. It turns out that by lying him on his left side, it caused his left lung to collapse. This on top of the development of PIE in his right lung along with the general immaturity of his lungs (RDS) was causing him grief. He was on 75-100% O2 and his pH was falling and CO2 levels increasing. Friday night, Dr. Bad News told us that if we saw him in our room it was a bad sign. I saw him in the hall later that night and he said that Jonah’s condition was still falling and that they would do a transfusion and then another blood gas. He said that we might see him in our room after that.
The night passed without seeing him but his condition was still grave. Rebecca came in and said she was very concerned. She had been worried that she may not have been able to make it in time to see him. He was very close to the edge.
Dr. Nimrod come in to check Lez and when he heard that Jonah had a rough night he said that Lez should stay at the hospital (she had been scheduled for discharge) so she could be close to him. He also saw my Bible open on my cot and asked "what is the Word for today". We told him that we had been relating to Job. He told us not to lose faith and to keep praying.
That afternoon, Jonah’s condition improved. He was put on a new ventilator and he immediately responded. Jeannette was his nurse that day and watched his O2 drop to 20-30% and his blood gases do a complete turn around. She was pleased. X-rays showed some improvement. We slept well that night with a new sense of hope.
Thursday, March 20, 2003
Meanwhile...
Daddy Log March 20, 2003
Jonah was doing okay, but was developing PIE (some sort of emphysema) in his lungs. He was having a tougher time, early on than Joshie did. In order to help, they turned him on his left side (trying to get the better lung, the right one, to do most of the work).
Jonah was doing okay, but was developing PIE (some sort of emphysema) in his lungs. He was having a tougher time, early on than Joshie did. In order to help, they turned him on his left side (trying to get the better lung, the right one, to do most of the work).
Saying Good-bye to Josh
Daddy Log March 20, 2003"...we said goodbye to Joshie. Rebecca bagged him while we each held him for a bit. Lez and I first, then everybody came in. Then, we took out the tube and Lez and I held him until God took him home. We took a few more pictures just so we would never forget what he looked like."
"There were a lot of tears during our time with him but there was also a peace knowing God’s Spirit would take care of our little guy and that a mansion was waiting for him in paradise."
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
Jonah's born
Daddy Log March 19, 2003
"While Lez was on bed rest, Marilynn was great. She was the most senior nurse and even Dr. Walker listened to her. Joan, Bill, and Mom arrived Tuesday night and got to see Joshie. Paul also came over..."
"The next day, the family came by to see us. Mom took me out to get some more supplies. When we got back, Bill and Joan met us in the lobby and told us that contractions may have started. I went up to see Lez. She was trying to rest but was obviously scared. I can’t remember why but they did not give her Newbane like they did with Joshie (a drug to relax her to try and stop contractions– with Josh Lez had asked why I was dressing like Harry Potter).
"As the afternoon went on the contractions slowed. The problem was that Lez was getting a fever. The doctors deduced that she had gotten an infection from Joshie’s umbilical cord (even though Dr. Li had tied it up). They had to get Jonah out even though he wanted tot stay. They gave Lez a drug to induce labour (which had all but stopped). She suffered through difficult contractions for several hours while Jonah slowly made his way down the uterus. Barb, the slightly clumsy nurse, called for the doctors (Dr. Oulette and the guy) a couple of times but, after checking, they would say things like, 'okay things look good, call me in ½ hour'. Lez did great battling brutal contractions while I rubbed her back and Joan held her hand– Finally they decided to let her push which helped the pain. She was also exhausted and had a fever of 38.9 oC."
"The delivery took a while because they wanted to deliver Jonah in his sack because a) he was breech and it would protect him from getting beat up and b) it would protect him from infection. This made it hard though because it was like pushing a water balloon. After a lot of pushing, Jonah was almost visible to the doctors, with his full sack providing water pressure behind him. They were getting ready for the last few contractions (the neonate nurse went to warm up the blankets) when, very unexpectedly, the sac burst und the pressure and Jonah came 'surfing' out with a single wave of amniotic fluid. The doctors said 'push', there was a big splash and there was Jonah lying on the bed in a puddle thinking, 'Why didn’t somebody catch me?' The doctors scooped him up (while Barb knocked some things on the floor) and took him to neonatal (he squeaked out a couple cries on the way out)."
"During Jonah’s delivery, Joshie’s doctor, Dr. Joanne, came in to tell us that his condition had taken a turn for the worse. He was bleeding into his lungs and probably also into the brain. She needed to know if we wanted him to get chest compressions if he needed them. We said 'no'. She felt bad coming in and I felt bad for her but the timing was brutal. We went in to see him right after Jonah’s birth. They gave us a brief update that they were trying a few more things but that the prognosis wasn’t good. We also got to see Jonah as they put him in his incubator. They then moved us over to the maternity ward."
"In our new room, Joanne came by to tell us that despite 2 (or 3) transfusions Joshie’s blood gases kept getting worse. This told them that he was most likely losing blood into the brain (they could also feel a soft spot on his head). We decided that we would wait until morning and that if nothing changed we would take him off the ventilator and say 'goodbye'. It was a difficult night. The room had dust bunnies, the nurse was weird, I had to sleep on the adjacent bed (I had to be up before the next shift change), babies kept us up crying... The next morning people kept banging in to sweep, to get garbage, etc."
"While Lez was on bed rest, Marilynn was great. She was the most senior nurse and even Dr. Walker listened to her. Joan, Bill, and Mom arrived Tuesday night and got to see Joshie. Paul also came over..."
"The next day, the family came by to see us. Mom took me out to get some more supplies. When we got back, Bill and Joan met us in the lobby and told us that contractions may have started. I went up to see Lez. She was trying to rest but was obviously scared. I can’t remember why but they did not give her Newbane like they did with Joshie (a drug to relax her to try and stop contractions– with Josh Lez had asked why I was dressing like Harry Potter).
"As the afternoon went on the contractions slowed. The problem was that Lez was getting a fever. The doctors deduced that she had gotten an infection from Joshie’s umbilical cord (even though Dr. Li had tied it up). They had to get Jonah out even though he wanted tot stay. They gave Lez a drug to induce labour (which had all but stopped). She suffered through difficult contractions for several hours while Jonah slowly made his way down the uterus. Barb, the slightly clumsy nurse, called for the doctors (Dr. Oulette and the guy) a couple of times but, after checking, they would say things like, 'okay things look good, call me in ½ hour'. Lez did great battling brutal contractions while I rubbed her back and Joan held her hand– Finally they decided to let her push which helped the pain. She was also exhausted and had a fever of 38.9 oC."
"The delivery took a while because they wanted to deliver Jonah in his sack because a) he was breech and it would protect him from getting beat up and b) it would protect him from infection. This made it hard though because it was like pushing a water balloon. After a lot of pushing, Jonah was almost visible to the doctors, with his full sack providing water pressure behind him. They were getting ready for the last few contractions (the neonate nurse went to warm up the blankets) when, very unexpectedly, the sac burst und the pressure and Jonah came 'surfing' out with a single wave of amniotic fluid. The doctors said 'push', there was a big splash and there was Jonah lying on the bed in a puddle thinking, 'Why didn’t somebody catch me?' The doctors scooped him up (while Barb knocked some things on the floor) and took him to neonatal (he squeaked out a couple cries on the way out)."
"During Jonah’s delivery, Joshie’s doctor, Dr. Joanne, came in to tell us that his condition had taken a turn for the worse. He was bleeding into his lungs and probably also into the brain. She needed to know if we wanted him to get chest compressions if he needed them. We said 'no'. She felt bad coming in and I felt bad for her but the timing was brutal. We went in to see him right after Jonah’s birth. They gave us a brief update that they were trying a few more things but that the prognosis wasn’t good. We also got to see Jonah as they put him in his incubator. They then moved us over to the maternity ward."
"In our new room, Joanne came by to tell us that despite 2 (or 3) transfusions Joshie’s blood gases kept getting worse. This told them that he was most likely losing blood into the brain (they could also feel a soft spot on his head). We decided that we would wait until morning and that if nothing changed we would take him off the ventilator and say 'goodbye'. It was a difficult night. The room had dust bunnies, the nurse was weird, I had to sleep on the adjacent bed (I had to be up before the next shift change), babies kept us up crying... The next morning people kept banging in to sweep, to get garbage, etc."
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
Water break & Josh is born
Jon had just left for work & I was still in bed when I felt fluid trickle down my leg. I called my midwife who told me my membranes may have ruptured and to go to the hospital. Choking back tears, I fought to call my dear friend Joy who lived around the corner. She somehow understood that I needed her to take me to the hospital & came to pick me up. The boys were just over 23 weeks gestational age (GA). We had only known that we were expecting twins for a little over a month. We had just given them names a few days earlier. Twin A was Joshua Michael. Twin B was Jonah David. We soon found out that it was Josh's sac that had ruptured.
Daddy Log (March 17 & 18, 2003)
"Got up and biked to work. Noticed a message flashing while I got my stuff together to go shower. It was Lez saying that she was leaking amniotic fluid. I called her just as Joy was picking her up to take her to McKeller. I biked over and met them there. Lez got checked in and got checked by a nice nurse named Shanny. Dr. Siren came and confirmed that her membrane was ruptured and booked her on a flight to Ottawa General. I went home to get her some clothes while she stayed with Sandra (her midwife). They called me at home and told me I could get a flight too, but not the same one. I took two bags (one for lez, one for me) and went to the hospital. Lez and I were separated then as I went to the airport to wait and Lez got an ambulance. We met again briefly while they loaded her into the air ambulance. The next time I saw her was at Ottawa General."
In Ottawa "Dr. Walker did an ultrasound and saw that Joshie’s sac had broken and that he was dry. Jonah was still happy in his sac. Lez’s cervix was still closed so we were hopeful that labour was still a week or more away. Sue, Lez’s admitting nurse got me a chair/bed to spend the night. That night we had a visit from Dr. Bad News. He said that if the babies were born within the next few days their chances would be next to nothing. He suggested that we not ventilate and simply let them die "peacefully". We said we would think about it but couldn’t make a decision. When his voiceless resident came back, we still couldn’t decide. We didn’t sleep well."
"The next morning Lez started having contractions. Dr. Rebecca, a neonatologist fellow, came in to discuss the ventilation question again. She described our options and didn’t make us feel bad about wanting to ventilate. We decided that if the baby had obvious signs of life when born, we would ventilate, but no chest compressions. Contractions kept getting worse until Dr. Walker knew that Joshie was coming. Lez was in pain but more scared. We both knew that at 23 3/7 weeks, it was too early, but Josh wasn’t waiting. He was born at 10:10ish am. He didn’t make a sound, but as the young neonate nurse, Carolynn, took him away I saw his arm move. They would try to ventilate him and give him a fighting chance."
"Dr. Walker’s ultrasound showed that Jonah had moved down the cervix and thought that he was coming too because contractions were continuing. They tried to break his sac to encourage him to come out but it wouldn’t break. He decided to stay put as the contractions came to a stop and the cervix started to close back up. As the nurse, Marilynn, tended to Lez they took me in to see Josh. He was so small, 616 grams, in an incubator, with the ventilator tubes in his mouth. Rebecca let me hold his hand, but only for a few seconds because I was scared. He was breathing quite well. I went back to tell Lez. Lez was put on strict bed rest, hoping that Jonah would stay put for a while."
Daddy Log (March 17 & 18, 2003)
"Got up and biked to work. Noticed a message flashing while I got my stuff together to go shower. It was Lez saying that she was leaking amniotic fluid. I called her just as Joy was picking her up to take her to McKeller. I biked over and met them there. Lez got checked in and got checked by a nice nurse named Shanny. Dr. Siren came and confirmed that her membrane was ruptured and booked her on a flight to Ottawa General. I went home to get her some clothes while she stayed with Sandra (her midwife). They called me at home and told me I could get a flight too, but not the same one. I took two bags (one for lez, one for me) and went to the hospital. Lez and I were separated then as I went to the airport to wait and Lez got an ambulance. We met again briefly while they loaded her into the air ambulance. The next time I saw her was at Ottawa General."
In Ottawa "Dr. Walker did an ultrasound and saw that Joshie’s sac had broken and that he was dry. Jonah was still happy in his sac. Lez’s cervix was still closed so we were hopeful that labour was still a week or more away. Sue, Lez’s admitting nurse got me a chair/bed to spend the night. That night we had a visit from Dr. Bad News. He said that if the babies were born within the next few days their chances would be next to nothing. He suggested that we not ventilate and simply let them die "peacefully". We said we would think about it but couldn’t make a decision. When his voiceless resident came back, we still couldn’t decide. We didn’t sleep well."
"The next morning Lez started having contractions. Dr. Rebecca, a neonatologist fellow, came in to discuss the ventilation question again. She described our options and didn’t make us feel bad about wanting to ventilate. We decided that if the baby had obvious signs of life when born, we would ventilate, but no chest compressions. Contractions kept getting worse until Dr. Walker knew that Joshie was coming. Lez was in pain but more scared. We both knew that at 23 3/7 weeks, it was too early, but Josh wasn’t waiting. He was born at 10:10ish am. He didn’t make a sound, but as the young neonate nurse, Carolynn, took him away I saw his arm move. They would try to ventilate him and give him a fighting chance."
"Dr. Walker’s ultrasound showed that Jonah had moved down the cervix and thought that he was coming too because contractions were continuing. They tried to break his sac to encourage him to come out but it wouldn’t break. He decided to stay put as the contractions came to a stop and the cervix started to close back up. As the nurse, Marilynn, tended to Lez they took me in to see Josh. He was so small, 616 grams, in an incubator, with the ventilator tubes in his mouth. Rebecca let me hold his hand, but only for a few seconds because I was scared. He was breathing quite well. I went back to tell Lez. Lez was put on strict bed rest, hoping that Jonah would stay put for a while."
Monday, March 17, 2003
The "Daddy Log"
While our boys were alive, Jon kept a journal that we affectionately called the "Daddy Log". Jon would sit at our sons' bedsides and write the events of the day. He recorded all the things we never wanted to forget as well as medical details. Although some memories are still as fresh as though they happened just yesterday, others fade with time. We were blessed with amazing hospital staff who cared for our boys. We didn't always agree with the treatment choices that were made, but we advocated for our boys' care. Jon's entries reflect the roller coaster that we experienced as we became parents for the first time. We will post exerpts from the Daddy Log as we share our story...
Friday, March 07, 2003
Getting to know our little boys
This was our second ultrasound.Josh's profile.
Jonah's profile.
Jonah reclining.
Josh reclining.
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